I went to bed last night thinking, tomorrow’s March already. Then I woke  to discover it was still February! I hadn’t even realized this is a leap year. But some things (most things) don’t reply on a calendar statistic. I used to fantasize that Leap Year Day was a gift, a special day for something we don’t ordinary do or say, like the menu item, “Specialty of the Day.” But why limit it to once a year? Why not create a personal Leap Year Day every month? What would we do with those precious uncounted hours?Maybe I won’t be solely a workaholic that day, but take time to phone the friend I never seem to have time to call. My interrupted work will still be there, but friendships don’t thrive without nourishment.
Maybe I’ll pause to watch the leaves on the tree outside my window. I never realized how they curl up as if protecting themselves from the cold. I’m inspired when I see them bravely uncurling, as if trusting the world.
Maybe I’ll make myself turn off the computer and go for a walk. If I meet that bullying neighbor I try to avoid I’ll surprise him by smiling. it won’t cost me anything and I might stop wasting energy in anger.
Maybe I’ll make a “play date” with my cat, instad of shutting the door on the lonely privacy of my “studio.” She doesn’t understand deadlines, but she does understand my affectionate rubbing of the fur by her right ear.
Maybe I’ll treat myself to the novelty of lazing on the couch,reading that book I haven’t had time to open.
Actually – what this Leap Day has done for me, was to inspire me to put aside a “must do” assignment and write this blog!
Instead , of feeling guilty if we take time off l let’s think of it as time ON – to replenish parched areas of our life.
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POETRY NOTE: My poem “Soliloquy In A Hi-Rise” has been accepted by Poemeleon Poetry Journal.
BOOK ENDS: “ARISING” and ‘ROLE PLAY” now available in E version as well as print at BookBaby.com and Amazon.com.

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February features a holiday that’s either sweet or bitter, depending where you are in your life. For those happily paired with a partner, Valentine’s Day can bring gifts that we translate into proof that we are loved. But what about those who are alone, victims of a death, divorce, or the breakup of a relationship?

The first Valentine’s Day after my husband died I told my bereavement counselor I’d never be hugged again. His response? “Put your arms around yourself.”
Cold comfort, I thought. Valentine’s Day isn’t supposed to be a game of solitaire. I had bought into the myth that being with anyone is better than being alone. I even wrote this into my novel ARISING, creating a heroine so needy she gets into two toxic affairs before discovering she has strength to stand on her own.
That first year I was advised to arrange some kind of socializing ahead of time. So I called a woman I knew who was single and  hawed dinner together. It became was a monologue of her miseries, that left me feeling even lonelier. That evening was a lesson: One plus one can add up to zero. In other words, we better choose our alternatives wisely.
I also made the myopic mistake of visualizing everyone else getting flowers or candy. Then one evening as I was trudging home from work, I stopped at a newsstand to buy a paper and noticed flowers being sold. I had never bought flowers for myself, but why not? I picked out a colorful bouquet of mixed flowers. “For your mama?” asked the newsman. “For me!” I announced – and that was the real beginning. The flowers I buy brighten my living room and my mood no matter who pays for them. I’ve also become shameless about devouring the Lady Godiva chocolates I treat myself to!
Perhaps the best antidote to loneliness is reaching beyond our self. I know a woman who makes a habit of calling one person each week who’s going through a bad time. A phone call doesn’t have to be lengthy. Just, “I’m thinking of you,” may be enough to let people know they’re not alone. Invariably we find that helping someone else boosts our spirits, too.
Valentine’s Day I will treat myself to a glass of wine and toast my ability to enjoy my own company. As the saying goes, “Alone means all-one.”
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“ARISING” available in print and E version at BoonBaby.com and Amazon.com