FIRST MENTOR

A confession: I’ve gotten a lot of compliments about the name of my  blog , anne-otations.  But the truth is, I stole  it.  On the distant day of my 12th birthday, my grandfather wrote me a three-page letter of advice about ladylike behavior and titled it  annotations.  (My name was originally without the e.) Grandpa was addicted to puns and I’ve inherited that.

He also bequeathed some expert advice about writing. Most of us have someone in our past who first encouraged us to write. He was that person for me.

His name was Samuel Archibald de Bear. (As a child, I was told that our Dutch  deBear side of the family was related to the deBeers of diamond fame, but I’ve never seen a karat of that.)

Grandpa was born in England and became the Sports Editor for the London Times.  In a story that’s legendary in our family, the publisher was offended by something Grandpa wrote  and punished him by giving his byline to another staffer. As we writers can understand, that was a blow not to be taken lightly. Grandpa tried to sue, but to no avail.  Unfortunately, this caused him to be blacklisted by other publishers.

Unable to find newspaper work Grandpa took himself off to America, along with a wife and five children  (one of whom became my mother). He had hoped to continue writing about sports, but knew too little about the intricacies of American athletics. So he got a job in advertising.  Another family legend has it that when the Ballantine ale logo of three rings was created, he supplied the famed caption: Purity, Body, Flavor.

He also became the mentor of the young granddaughter who was myself. My grandfather was the only one who believed I would become a writer.

This didn’t deter him from being a severe critic. Reading  my typical adolescent flowery phrases, he warned me about being “self-indulgent.” Clutching my manuscript, I protested that I loved my “poetic” words. He said that whenever I wrote words I was in love with, they should probably be erased.  It was the best advice I’ve ever been given.

One of the last times I saw him, when I was a rebellious 15- year -old, I broke the news that I intended to become an actress.   ”You’ll outgrow it,” he predicted.

I did detour into acting and it took decades before I came back to what he had insisted I was born to be: a writer. He didn’t live to see this, for he died just weeks after that final conversation ,

Yet to this day, whenever I applaud myself for a “poetic” phrase,  I invariably discover it calls so much attention to itself that it distracts from the story. Or that it makes for pretentious dialogue, not the truth of how the character would be speaking.  In those moments, my grandfather’s voice gives me strength to press the delete key.

This blog post is my belated tribute to him.

BOOKS: Widow’s Walk – available through iUniverse; Turning Toward tomorrow – xLibris.com;Ten Women of Valor – createspace.com – also Amazon and Amazon Kindle

LINKS: Facebook, LinkedIn

COMMENTS:

“What a beautiful relationship you had with your grandfather.” – Susan R.

“A beautiful story – really enjoyed it.” – Warren A.

 

19 thoughts on “

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  2. For years, my creativity was in the form of art and various crafts. Then a young woman and her 3-year-old daughter moved into the apartment across the hall from me. We became good friends. I would sit with Jessica as she watched Sesame Street and while she “wrote” her own stories. She couldn’t actually write or print, so she would have me write the stories down for her as she dictated them. She gave me specific instructions as to which lines should be in what color. It was during that time that I began to write children’s books and later branched out into other genres. But I think Jessica could be credited for inspiring my writing experience. Thank you, Jessica (who now has a couple of children herself).

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