IN PRAISE OF IMPERFECTION

The Oscars had me succumbing to my annual routine: 1) Vowing not to watch the Oscars; 2) Turning it on “for a while”; 3) Being bored by the predictable roll call of thanks to unknown staffers (how about thanking audiences?) 4) Reminding myself I don’t have to watch the numbingly long show to the very end; 5) Watching to the very end; 6) Vowing not to watch the Oscars.

Why do we feel compelled to see a parade of women who look impossibly beautiful in revealing fashions we can’t afford (and don’t have the figure for)? Don’t we have a secret wish that something less than perfect will suddenly liven the scene — like a strapless top sliding down? And how about a politically incorrect thanks being blurted out before a drumbeat shuts the speaker up?

We do get a vicarious thrill when our favorite’s name is announced and she/he strides to the dais for the coveted Oscar, but isn’t it more fun when that god/goddess trips on the way? Or is audibly stoned? (No names given.) And what about the losers? Ever notice how they manage a glazed smile (Hooray, my rival won!) as the merciless cameras zoom in for a close-up? Piers Morgan added some humor to the red carpet by asking startled stars to show their “loser” expression. (I can do that easily!)

Maybe it would help if we, too, dressed up for the occasion. I usually watch the show in a bathrobe. What if I wear one of the outdated cocktail dresses still cluttering my closet? Slash on glaring lipstick a la Anne Hathaway? Recite “Thank you” to everyone I’ve ever known as I march to the fridge for snacks? Of course I still wouldn’t come close to resembling those polished faces and enviable (young!) figures who simulate something called “perfection.”

So when Jennifer Lawrence famously fell on the stairs as she rushed to get her trophy, how many of us thought, She’s human! I could see myself tripping like that. Yet as Ben Affleck pointed out, it isn’t falling down that defines us, it’s getting up again. Which Lawrence did in her refreshingly candid way by telling the audience, ”That was nuts.”

She also responded to the standing ovation with a disarming (and probably accurate): “You’re only standing because I fell.” To us ordinary viewers this was a welcome moment of reality, for our own failings are validated by other people’s stumbles. That’s why the most intriguing characters in films and books are imperfect mixtures. They’re also more rewarding to write or act. (Isn’t Scarlet far more fascinating than super-perfect Melanie?)

So I’ll probably Oscar–watch again. After all, someone might fall off the stage.

Website:annehosansky.com

BOOKS: “Widow’s Walk,”  -available through iUniverse; “Turning Toward Tomorrow”-xLibris.com;  “Ten Women of Valor”- CreateSpace.com and Amazon.com